Best Gifts My Father Gave To Me

Dear Dad,

Yesterday, a friend was crying over a letter her father gave to her. They are rich and she has received almost every imaginable gift a child can ever get from a parent but it was the letter that she cherishes the most.

That made me think... what are the best gifts you have given me.

1. A broken childhood

You grandfather was molesting me. You knew. We both know you knew but you did nothing. For years, you did nothing and when you finally did, it was to leave to escape him.


2. Apologies

You gave me the best one. You begged for my forgiveness and a chance to make you a part of my life again.

3. Promises

You said you can't be a father but you can be a friend, the kind that will protect me the way you were never able to when I was a kid. You promised to start anew. You promised we will make new memories and to make up for the years you were away.

You promised me time. You promised your ear. You promised me your arms. You promised me I can count on you.

You never kept any.


4. Lies

You say too many lies that I sometimes get confused between your casual truths and casual lies. I don't even know why you're lying. You've already done to me the worst thing a father can do to her child, you've allowed your own father to molest me and then you abandoned me. Why can't you realize I can handle truths, no matter how painful, no matter how disgusting.

What is the point of trying to create an ideal picture for me when reality is rotten and painful. Why can't you give me enough respect to at least tell me the truth all the time?

5. Hope

Because you know I can never change the fact that you are my father so you keep on giving me hope that you will be one.

Someone told me that if there is anything I should thank you for, it's the courage and strength I have developed because of you.

But no.

You have nothing to do with what I have become. NOTHING. You broke me. It was you who broke me. It was you who destroyed my childhood, damaged me and ripped me into pieces.

YOU HAD AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW I WAS ABLE TO PUT MYSELF BACK TOGETHER.

NOTHING.


But if you have any mercy left, I will ask for one gift... stop. Just stop.


Jumee

Posted on 2013-06-19 02:52:25 by Jumee-ODM  

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