I’ve just realized that I have never told you enough how happy you make me. I usually tell you how scared I am of the possibility of losing you that it undermines that fact that the happiness you are making me feel right now is enough for me to go through a lifetime.
I love it when you’re goofing around, the way you make faces like a child. It reminds me that it is quite simple to feel how living can be so light, that it is quite simple to make someone else smile or make yourself smile. Grand gestures aren’t necessary, just the sincerity to give someone a moment of your lifetime.
I love it when you smile, most especially when you laugh and even when you frown. Your laughter and smile are so simple, so direct, so in the moment. It assures me that at that very moment you were happy and I was there “with” you and that’s all that really matter– never mind the future – just the now.
I love it when you are so deep into watching TV. It’s like you’re in trance… like a child traversing a fantasy world and no adult is allowed. This is how a child finds happiness, in the simplest of things, no drama, no complications - As should we all.
I love it when you ask questions, when you make understanding a prerequisite to living. People are often too caught up in their own pride or ghosts that they often ignore the fact that knowing and understanding is half the joy of living.
I love hearing your voice, it makes me feel alive. No matter what you say, it’s the sweetest sound I could ever hear and long after we put the phone down, I could feel your voice talking to my heart.
I love it when you stare, it makes me feel I matter… I love it when I see you are excited, it makes my heart jump… I love it when you’re irritated, I get to know you a bit more… I love it when you tell stories about your past, about your life, you make me feel I am welcome in your life. I love it when you’re conscious about you’re hair, it’s simply who you are.
I even love the way you make me feel when you’re not around – the way you make me smile by simply remembering what you said nights before, the way I look forward to mornings and evenings so I can have a valid excuse to text you to let you know you’re in my mind, the way you take over my thoughts at ANY given moment and place, the way you give me the appetite to live everyday to the fullest, the way you make me look forward to tomorrow knowing each day that passes is a day closer to me seeing you.
I could go and on and I assure you I will not get close enough to accurately describing how you make me feel. It is so beautiful, I think words just make it ugly.
You have my heart … you have all of me. It’s not much but it’s all I have. I can only hope that it returns even just a portion of what you give me.