How have you been? I hope that when you answer that, you will tell me the truth. I don’t want us to become the kind of couple that goes by with meaningless words. I want to know how you really are, even if it is hard for you to say and even if you know it will be hard for me to hear.
The only way for us to be together even when we are apart is for us to connect and I hope we don’t lose that.
Long distance is never easy. I actually thought it’s impossible until this… until we are forced to live apart. I guess love has a unique way of changing our perspective on relationships. Now, I don’t see the distance between us. All I see is you and the future that awaits us once we finally figure out what we will do.
Things here have been pretty much the same. I try to keep things the same. Not having you here with me is hard enough, if anything else change, I just might go crazy. I go through the motions, I keep the same routine. I go out with our friends every Saturday, I catch the latest movie with Bree every Thursday, I go to the gym three times a week, and I still try to do something I haven’t tried before at least once a week.
It’s the same places, it’s the same people but not the same feeling. I laugh with our friends but I’m not happy, not without you around.
Last week, we decided to go up the hill and camp for a night. It was something we always wanted to do just to experience the disaster 6 city people will manage to create forcing ourselves to live in the woods. We didn’t disappoint. It was pure disaster. It took us full 3 hours to put up the tents, we couldn’t make the stove work and carried bags full of contents we didn’t need. We couldn’t even roast the hotdogs properly.
It was fun… our friends are always fun but they can’t make me as happy the way you can. In the midst of the chaos we were in, I still found myself crying the minute everyone lied down. We slept in the same tent but I still felt like there is an empty space beside me.
They say it will get better… probably… but I am not sure if I want it to get better. I feel like I ought to miss you, I ought to be in pain when you are not around… the bought us ought to only feel complete when we have each other.
So, it scares me. I am scared that one day you and I will wake up and feel fine that we are not waking up with each other by our side.