I miss you so much it hurts… I mean, it really physically hurts.
I feel like there’s a weight pressing down on my chest and I find it hard to breath. My heart literally hurts… like beating is becoming too hard for it to do.
Maybe it is… too hard to do because you’re not here anymore.
I have always appreciated life and the world but all the colors are gone now.
I look at the sunset and see nothing but the ugly bleeding of the sky rather than the beautiful mixture of colors I used to love.
I look at the sky and see horror of the vast space… the emptiness and the loneliness, rather than the beauty of its changing colors.
I look at other people and see a crowd of confused restless people instead of the beauty of their warmth.
I just don’t have the will to wake up every morning because I know it’s just another day. Another day which I need to survive only to do it all over again the next day and I don’t even know why I have to. I don’t see the point.
I constantly have to remind myself that I have to get up and walk on. I constantly have to push myself to function. I constantly have to force myself to just go on and it is exhausting. I just don’t get why I have to be here if you are not.
I’m tired. I’m just tired of living.
I have never asked for much in my life and God know I have never taken much. I always give what I can and I survived on what is simply enough. All I wanted was to have you. I didn’t even ask for a great life, just a good one. I just wanted morning with you and nights with you.
I didn’t ask for much… I just asked for a life with you.
But I guess that’s too much to ask because I couldn’t even have you for just one more day, just for one more night, just for one touch… and one more kiss.
You took and owned my heart, Bret. You never gave it back.