I am not an evil woman you are building me up to be. Of course I felt guilty for having an affair with your husband and I surely would have it another way if I had a choice. If I had a choice, I would have met him when he was single. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t want him to have children. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t want him to be married to you.
But I don’t have a choice. I met him when he was already married to you. I fell in love. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want to but I did.
And now, I wouldn’t want to lose him even if I have a choice.
Despite what you might think, I don’t know when I fell in love with him. I certainly didn’t plan this.
There is no woman in this world who would wish to be in this situation.
I ached whenever he had to leave me to go home to you. I cringed at the thought of him lying down next to you. I died whenever you call him and he is with me.
I never thought I could bear the pain. No woman, no person would ever want to go through that.
Did I ask him to leave you? Yes.
Did I do everything I could to make him love me more? Yes.
Because I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want us to be together. I want him to be mine… because I love him.
Do I have a conscience? I do.
But I also have a heart and it wants nothing else but a life with him, a future with him, a family with him. I want what you have… had.
I know this is hard to hear but he never would have fallen in love with me if he loved you enough. Had he been attracted with me and did a one night thing, that wouldn’t have meant anything but that’s not what he had with me. He called me, asked me to be with him, missed evening with you so he can be with me, and chose to lie to you for me.
It is clear. What he feels about you is clear. He probably still loves you but not enough to leave me.
I never meant to hurt you. Believe it or not, this is not about you. This is about me and him. This is about his love for me.
Let him go. Allow him to be happy